aspen

wednesday.

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 11:52:51 GMT

im running late this morning but whatever. who doesn't have time for a livejournal entry? :)

ryan and i got in an argument last night. i grabbed the keys and planned to "go out by myself". truth be told though, i rather be with ryan any minute of any day, even if we are fighting. so i made two circles... my apartment, around greenbriar, down battlefield; my apartment, around greenbriar, down battlefield. all this until i finally called him to make up and came home. :)
some of things i do sometimes must make it hard to believe that i'm married with a four month old son. hah.

ive been so moody lately that last night a brief thought ran through you my head (yeah...you know). but common, i'm popping that birth control like it's crack.

that being said, ryans leading worship tonight for the first time in a while. i'm pretty stoked. i just love seeing him do what god created him for. he is a worship leader through and through. as a married couple i want to have a part in it somehow, however i'm not about to sing or attempt a musical instrument soooo... i dont know. praying for him and being there is my part i guess.

i watched the office last night at danny and shellys. i laughed so hard my stomach hurt. dry humor... seriously where would we be without it in this world?

jacis coming down on the fifth! i'm so excitttted. of course shes staying with us. i miss here i miss her i miss her. she moved to michigan. julie to missouri. dallas to georgia. it isn't fair when all of your friends leave. i should probably work on my women relationships. just doesnt come naturally.

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 21:30:07 GMT

some very exciting things happened last night. but unfortunately im sworn to secrecy. :(
i hate that. :)

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 11:11:45 GMT

it 's very misty out this morning.
pretty.

i'm waiting for my coffee to finish brewing.

man...i just want to stay home today. it's one of those mornings where i just can't seem to stop yawning. you know what i'm talking about?

yea.

day two of the weekend.

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 02:30:06 GMT

ryan, joshua and i went to ihop this morning. joshua is starting to grab at things, trying to put everything he gets a hold of in his mouth. he was facinated with the menu. it's so cute to see him focus on one thing... you can just see the little transmitters in his brain trying to figure it all out. for a good 20 minutes the other day we had him practice reaching for his bottle... he focused in on that bottle like a little baby genious. it never quite made it into his mouth... ryan was covered in milk from every precious attempt. i love being this kids mama. they're the cutest things in the world.

there was a really big yard sale in the blakleys parking lot today... i found a few amber colored glasses that hold small candles for a quarter a piece. :) and a very tall, thin bookshelf that works perfectly in our hallway. 10 bucks! i feel like we're finally getting this place together. we waited on a lot because we didn't know if we'd be renewing the lease but since we have i'm pretty excited. the next big project will be our balcony but i guess i have all winter to get through before i start on that.

we took milo to bark in the park today. :) i'm determined... next year i'm going to make him the sweetest costume so he can participate. it's going to extend, like, 10 feet from his body. it's gonna be awesome. not sure what, though...

ryan worked with his dad tonight. he's suppossed to be home in half an hour but i have a feeling it's gonna go late. :( i miss him.

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 02:53:44 GMT

so we woke up rather early this morning. i wanted to check out some church yard sales and such. i had been wanting some really nice mugs from starbucks lately but couldn't spent the $20 for two...today i found three or four beautiful fall ones for like, 0.75. :) also bought a few neat things for the kitchen and a couple nic-nacs for our shelves. it makes me feel good to get "new" things and not have to spend much. :)
oh! and i found a rug at target for $7. rugs are not cheap.

ryan and i are tackling some creative projects we've been wanting to do for a while... shelves made out of old books we found at a yard sale (with directions torn out of a magazine i found), other wooden shelves that we're attempting to make ourselves... the stain is pretty so far. :) and since we started painting wine bottles and old vases a couple of months go, we bought a large canvas to have fun with using paint, magazine clippings and old photographs. :)
it's nice that joshua goes to bed so early and sleeps through the night so ry and i have time in the evenings to spend working on everything.

mmm, juice and a little bit of red wine... yummy.

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 11:52:34 GMT

in december ryan will be trying for the police academy. we did some research on everything the other day... there's a written test and physical agility test. both seem quite do-able. he's not interested in being a traffic cop but there's a few other positions he wants to look in to. it's a government job, so it has great benefits and decent pay. we'll see.

i had terrible dreams last night. one was a friend calling off her marriage because she hardly knew the man she was about to marry. it was a hysterical dream. the other was that i took two different elevators, both of which were broken and bouncing all over the place. i got out and was screaming at the top of my lungs about how no one put a sign up saying they were out of order. ha!
but seriously. these dreams were terrible.
jacis family was also in my dream. i miss them so much.

man, the drama in antm this season is crazy. i was happy with the elimination, though. i mean, beyonca is pretty ghettolicious, but at least she doesn't look like an alien.

wednesday.

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 11:17:42 GMT

im getting my puppy back.
i'm quitting the babysitting job. i guess i just can't handle it... i'm in tears on a constant basis.
i realized it isn't the fact that joshua is teething, as much as it's about juggling the care of a three year old that isn't mine and a three month old. (yet another reminder to my clicking tock that i will wait for the second for a veryyyyy long time, god willing)
i'll get a job waiting tables; i loved it when i used to do it... made a lot of money, too.
and that's that.

i think ryan is going to lead worship for the middle school kids on wednesday nights. i wanted to serve somewhere as a couple and didn't really feel that my heart was with this age group but when i really thought about it, ryan has a way of connecting with these kids in a powerful way. he used to lead a cell group of teen boys and used to take my 14 year old brothers and their friends to a skate park in va beach "just for fun". they all loved him to death. he's just very genuine with them. i think it'll be neat.

as far as this new president thing goes [:)], i'm having a hard time. ry and i are both registered to vote. i want us to know who were voting for so i've started researching the candidates. though i've read, in detail, on the many important issues, and thought i had found the one i'd be casting my vote for, i simply cannot vote for someone who is pro-choice. and if i can't find someone who is anti-gay marriage AND anti-abortion, then let the gay man marry the gay man but i cannot support someone who thinks it's okay to kill those precious lives.
so back to my search.

i want to finish my tattoos like you wouldn't belieeeeeve.

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 11:03:44 GMT

i love that when he looks at me, there are no more secrets. and i know the man i'm married to.
i love that when i'm held there is truth in my security.

i hope there's enough coffee left to make a couple cups.

lisas coming over tonight.

joshuas sleeping late this morning.

hello, monday.

maybe i'll do better this week.

milo.

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 02:18:17 GMT

i've given milo to my older brother, chris.
i'm heart broken.
i just felt like he didn't have the life he needed. ryan and i arn't home until late every day and joshua just takes such a priority.
i miss him so much. i told chris it was a trial run and so i can get hom back any time within the next couple of weeks.
i just don't know... i wanted him to be the dog to grow up with our babies. he's like my other child. i just felt like we were torturing him, having him stuck in the apartment all day and not getting out much in the evenings. since i started babysitting, he's really been acting out... peeing on our clothes, peeing on joshuas things, chewing up stuff in the apartment. he has so much energy... not the average lap dog. i couldn't give him what he needed.
but i want my puppy back.
what i really want is a home with a yard and enough income to not have to work so milo can run and play all day with me.
:*(

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 16:18:03 GMT

it's been such a great weekend. ryan was suppossed to work last night but i got a text message from him while i was at barnes and nobles asking if he could buy me a cup of coffee. and he was there! we read together for two and a half hours and then walked over to don pablos. all i wanted was some salsa and corn cake. we talked for a very long time and then picked up joshua up from grandmas. :)
ryan let me sleep in 'til 11:30 today. :):):):)
we'll be headin' over to skeeza and lukes later today. church tonight.
that's about it.

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 16:10:48 GMT

shelly watched joshua last night so ryan and i could still go on our date together. :) i asked for the olive garden... we ordered whatever we wanted, PLUS sweet teas. :) this is a big deal when money is quite tight so we usually always get waters and share something. fun!
ry and i have been cleaning all morning. joshua is laying on the floor watching the emporers new groove. he loves it! so do i.
theres a duplex for rent right down the street from us. i want to call about it today... i think that would be so great. we'll see. :)
anyway, it's so gorgeous outside. we're gonna meet priscilla at barnes and nobles soon... better take that shower.

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 10:11:40 GMT

oh my goodness. somehow our clock went ahead an hour and we mistakingly woke up at 5am. :( now im showered and dressed; no point in going back to sleep.
my little bean slept through the night! a very nice treat for mom and dad. and he's still snoozin' away.
ryan and i decided to stay home last night and watch our shows. i get really excited about tv series premiering.
oh, and i totally agreed with the antm elimination. i'm rootin for the yale girl.

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 11:42:29 GMT

i have the sweetest husband in the world.
after a really rough day of allergies, three year olds, and me locking myself in the laundry room to cry because joshua was teething pretty badly, i came home to a "letter from joshua" that made me cry. :) ryan had taken him on a walk so i did what he said and took a shower, grabbed the keys and went out by myself for a little while. i can't describe how good it felt to drive slowly, listen to whatever i wanted, not argue with ryan over something stupid or have to give joshua a bottle. :) so nice.
i finally read a little bit of jenny mcarthys book on her sons autism while at barnes and nobles last night. i was interested because during an interview someone asked if she was against immunizations, and she replied "no, however i do believe that doctors need to research whether or not our small babies immune systems are ready for them". that's what i've been saying to everyone whos asked me why i haven't gotten joshuas shots done. there is so much debate on immunizations and their possible role in the increasing number of children diagnosed with autism. it effects 1 in 150 children now, 1 in every 90 boys. i'm so glad i've waited and will probably continue to do so until it's required for him to attend school. a newborn is just too small.
joshuas starting to wake up once in the middle of the night now for a bottle (normal for babies approaching 4 months), so instead of making ryan get up i did it this time! i'm so glad i did. he wasn't crying, but just blabbing on and on... i could hear him from the kitchen. when i got to his crib he had flipped himself over onto his back and was grinning ear to ear. i can't believe how fast he's growing. :) just so beautiful. theres no feeling in the world like the one i get when i wrap him up in his warm little blanket at some ungodly hour in the morning, and he looks up at me with those gorgeous blue eyes... thanking me for the yummy buh-buh as he falls back to sleep.
i'm so lucky.

like, what the &%*$ am i doing here then?!??!?!

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 03:37:28 GMT

"i mean, like, what better to say when you see someone and you're just like, ah, like, sweetness."

sweetness.

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 23:34:45 GMT

oh my gosh. ry and i are cookin' up the best dish of pancit you've ever seen.

yumm.

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 23:12:05 GMT

it's been a nice sunday. ryan woke up early for church, i got joshua ready and went to the second service at 11. and because i went this morning, i skipped out on tonight and put joshua to bed early. :) made some brownies whiled i watched the ya ya sisterhood. :D i think that makes for a relaxing evening, yes?

nicole, ryan, joshua and myself went over to the middle school track this afternoon. ryan and cole ran two miles while i just played with the baby and watched milo go crazy in the football field. that pup is fast.

so *sigh* another week starts. it's me, joshua and trinity monday through friday. but i'm making about what i was making before as a sales coodinator, just $200 less a month. it's worth it. a blessing.

saturday.

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 23:30:55 GMT

my mom moved into her apartment this weekend... i'm so happy for her. i told ryan the whole thing felt like food to my soul... i feel so edified. it's been so long, probably 10 years, that i have prayed for God to rescue her from this. her little place is so beautiful, so full of peace. and hope. for years my mom has said that she wanted a happy little home, with candy on her coffee table for her grand babies. her birthday is next week and that's exactly what i'm getting her... a little glass jar with m & m's for her coffee table.
she can finally have relief, and it just brings tears to my eyes.

on another note, it's been a VERY busy week. between the move, the babysitting, and everything that involves being a mama :), i am completely exhausted.
ry and i went on our weekend date tonight... we went to texas road house (sweet tea, rolls and a side salad... yum?!), relevant, maybe java jazz at 9 with some friends, then walmart and home. maybe we'll rent a movie. i just love getting ot hang out with that man. he is. amazing.

joshua is doing SO well. he naps regularly, talks lots, and is really getting the hang of tummy-time... he's pushed his entire little body up with his arms and legs! he's just such a happy baby, who rarely cries and loves on everyone who gets the chance to hold him. we were so blessed. i can't wait to plan number two! well... i can wait. but i still look forward to it. :)

i've gotten lots of compliments tonight on how i look after the baby and all. i'm not gonna lie... it feels really good. after going nearly 10 months feeling like a heffalump it's nice to finally be skinny again.

we're suppossed to be getting a little referral bonus from the apartment complex soon... ryan said i could go clothes shopping and that we'd each get a little tattoo work done. ! :) we have so many incomplete tattoos that it's ridiculous. a baby came. wuddya gonna do?

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 00:25:15 GMT

oh man, i am just SO tired. i've never worked so hard in my life, seriously. chasing after a three year old while taking care of a three month old is pretty rough. by the end of the day i'm completely wasted.
ryan took joshua when i got home and let me sleep for two hours. i feel ok, but i could still go back to sleep for the night.
did anyone see jeaprody last night? of course you didn't. but the lady... she had like, $40,000 and was about to solve a puzzle to go home with the cash AND a carribean cruise. the puzzle was nearly sloved, "glea_ing white sand beach". she was like, "AHHHH I'D LIKE TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE?!?!" she was obviously excited because she was about to go home with some mad money. then she was like "gleaming white sand beachES". the crowd cheers... and alex was like, "i'm sorry, that is not correct." and she lost everything! ahaha. i'm still cracking up.

i'm going to ask the question.

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 02:28:14 GMT

how, HOW is it possible to love someone so much?
i just melt at the sight of him.
every little noice he makes, every reach, every cry... i'm there. 110%, completely enamored.
obsessed sounds ridiculous. God put this feeling in mommys, it was totally intentional.
i can't imagine what mothers go through when they lose a child... my life revolves around this little life.
when he smiles at me... oh, words can't even describe the feeling.
i can see why jesus loves these little ones so much. what would the world be like if we all loved with the love of a child?
all it takes is a smile from me and joshua lights up, maybe even with a giggle,
he thinks i'm hillarious.

i think he's the best thing ever.

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 03:40:28 GMT

busy BUSY day. i'm surprised i haven't crashed yet.
started the babysitting today. i'm not gonna lie... i miss laying around in my pjs all day with joshua, but the check i was able to deposit tonight wasn't too bad either. :) we were busy with that all day in virginia beach, then came home to have some quick dinner with daddy before he headed out to worship practice and i met up with my mom to buy joshua some warmer clothes. i bought him a warm, fleecy coat, a couple of long sleeve outfits, the cutest little bear hat, some socks, and his halloween costume... of course we're not going trick-or-treating, but i had to. he'll be a little chicken! there was much debate at first... a frog, a pirate, a cow... but a chicken? the debate stops there. :)
i've been running pretty much all day... poor joshua didn't get to lay down for bed until 10 o'clock and i've been getting stuff around here ready for tomorrow for the past couple of hours.
i'm ready for the weekend.

after re-reading this entry i've decided it sounds horrible and is a bad read, but i am totally crashing.

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 20:32:30 GMT

what a beautiful sunday. :) i woke up to an apartment that was 57 degress, but who cares?! it's freaking cold out and i'm loving it.
joshua woke up from 7-8:30 but then slept until 11. heck yes! ah ryan, i just love waking up to that columbian.
we made a super snazzy breakfast and played with the baby all morning, while watching american idol re-runs. go kelly clarkson.
ryan took my mom to portsmouth to pick up some book shelves so joshua and i went to food lion. i bought some of those 100 calorie hostess packs and yea... delicious.
we've decided to renew, therefore i will be getting my "paint on" very soon. probably greens, browns, yellows, such. the complex said they would paint the trim white if we renew so this place is gonna look pretty sweet.
we got the explorer back yesterday. $600 later, it runs great! hah. but thankfully we didn't have to pay a penny... rys dad took care of it. what a blessing because we definitely don't have 600 bucks to sink into vehicle repairs. bills, bills, bills. the radio is obviously gone, which just makes me so sad. i saw pictures of how the truck was found and wow, those bastards. they tore up the carpet, following wires to the back thinking we had an amp in there. we didn't. everythings been fixed, i just still feel so violated.
anyway, good news... my mom and sister will be moving into a great bridge apartment this coming friday. :) the twins wanted to stay with my dad, which doesn't surprise me... they're very much like him. i'm excited to see my mom finally experiance some peace, to say the least. if anyone knows of any decent paying jobs that are available, PLEASE let me know. she has a job currently but it isn't enough to support herself. chris and josh have each committed to sending her $200 a month to help and ryan and i will be giving $100 a month as well. it's just such a big step for her. she's been emotionally victomized for so long.
church is tonight. tomorrow i start the babysitting, monday-friday. i had exactly three months off with joshua and i couldn't be more grateful to ryan for bustin' his butt so i could do so. the $150 a week i'll be making will be going straight to my visa. loves it.

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 13:19:58 GMT

let now the weak
say i have strength
by the spirit of power
that raised christ from the dead

let now the poor
stand and confess
that my portion is Him
and i'm more than blessed

let now our hearts burn with a flame
a fire consuming all
for your sons holy name
and with the heavens we declare
you are our King

let now your the church
shine as your bride
that you saw in your heart
as you offered up your life

let now the lost
be welcomed home
by the saved and redeemed
those adopted as your own

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 02:59:17 GMT

i miss the bands.
i miss the music.
i miss the cold weather and the late, late nights.

i hate when the lawn people come and blow all of my leaves away.

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 21:19:25 GMT

ryan took a sick day! we bummed around the apartment for a while, packed a lunch and a joshua and went out for the day... it was fairly productive. :) washed and vaccumed the car, paid rys cell phone bill, had some coffee outside of starbucks and found a few sweet tshirts at the thrift store. it was so nice having him home with us.

oh... julie had her baby! miss kaelyn myers (no official middle name yet), 7lbs 1oz (just like our little guy) and 20 inches long. i'm just so thrilled for her. :) giving birth is incredible.

it's been an exciting day. :)

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 18:57:29 GMT

some crack head broke into our explorer while it was parked overnight at a transmission shop in virginia beach. they broke the drivers side window and stole the radio/cd player. it looks like they checked all the compartments for valuables but thank god we didn't keep anything like that in there. ryan had JUST taken out his amp and guitar the night before... i would have had a heart attack.
it's too bad they didn't know that the radio was a piece of crap and had recentely been cutting on and off. they'll probably get $20 for it at a pawn shop, if that. but like i said, freaking CRACK HEAD.
it's just one more thing to deal with, one more thing we can't afford.
god has really blessed us lately, but i still find myself fighting off HATE. when people are selfish like that they don't realize who they're taking from and it makes me want to kill someone.
but anyway,
djkhglkjhg.
i'm on a chocolate chip pancake kick and i think it's time to make some.